Son step mom
The good news - you can make.As I said my husband and I are coming up on our 20th anniversary. .The bad news - it takes a lot of work, and I can't guarantee that you'll ever gain a closeness with your stepchild that resembles what you have with your own child.Things that I know help - you and your spouse have to communicate first, and be sure that you are on the same page regarding your and the child's relationship and discipline plan. .
I feel that my husband and I for the most part did okay with this (not perfect but 95 of the time we had a united front regarding the house rules and expectations.My stepson was a handful for most of his school career, and for a while I felt my husband was expecting me to take care of most of these challenges. .This really began to make me feel resentful of my husband, the child's biological mother, and my stepson.I told my husband that I did not feel comfortable handling all of these communications, and also that it was starting to make me feel resentful of the situation.My husband did step up to the plate, and starting managing much more regarding the school discipline issues.
I remained his companion to offer my insights and support.Also, when our daughter was born, my stepson became very jealous, though he and I had never been very close.I think he yearned for more of a maternal relationship, yet his own mother was so negative about any relationship between he and I, that he felt he was betraying her in some way. .
This being said, his own mother was not a very good model, and as he saw what most babies and children experience, he wanted this as well. .As he conveyed negative feelings about my then baby, my first instinct was to protect my own child. .However, I stepped back and realized this was one of those fork in the road moments.If I responded negatively, I might be demolishing any chance I had at giving my daughter a relationship with her brother.In addition, for him, this might be one of the most positive relationships of his life if handled properly. .I sat him down and explained that this little baby was his sister, not his half-sister (as his mother had called her but a little life he that he could take a big part.